Silver Chipmunk Chatter
Friday, November 6, 2009
10:56PM - One day at a time
Got an answer to my e-mail from yesterday, not a aprticularly helpful one.
Still haven't hear from the lawyer so I'll have to call back Monday.
Looks like I am going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show tomorrow with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mashfanficchick, and quite possibly Malik3000 from the ship. That should be an interesting combination! I spoke to Malik tonight, he has a rather charming Southern accent, which I've always been a sucker for anyway. I don't know much about Malik, so this should be interesting.
Talked to The Kid, she showed me an really great Final Fantasy X fic which I'm reading, and I joined an Auron/Lulu comm, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
aulu.
Talked to Oldest Brother, Mom theoretically started her radiation today but in actuality she didn't, it's just a dress rehersal sort of thing. The actual zapping starts Monday.
Gave the turtle more water, even without an airstone the filter's working well and things are looking better.
Going to go to bed soon, though it's hard to stop reading this fic!
Gratitude List:
1. The Kid.
2. Oldest brother.
3. Meeting new people.
4. My turtle.
5. I got complimented by someone at work for being helpful.
6. Every day hurts less than the one before.
melancholyThursday, November 5, 2009
10:45PM - I'm feeling a little better, oddly
That's partly because I accomplished some real stuff today, mainly writing and sending the e-mail that I had to to The Husband about various financial matters. I don't know what his reaction was when he got it, but I know he's seen it. Though oddly enough it didn't apparently show up in his inbox. I have that from The Kid, who told him about it and when he said he didn't have it, sent him the copy I had sent her. I hate dragging her in like that but since he is telling her that I'm crazy, I figure for my own protection I ned to be able to show her what's really going on. And we know who the real crazy one is, I don't want to say to much or break any confidences, but she told me herself she thinks he needs a psychiatrist. His future plans are apparently... pretty bizzare at this point.
Anyway, having gotten that out of the way, the next thing is to wait to hear from the lawyer. Which I haven't yet. I'll be assigned one, I don't know if it's a he or a she yet.
Aside from that, I'm dead tired, got very little sleep last night, because the damn mice were rattling the lovebird's cage's doors. In the middle of the night I finally said enough, and moved the lovebirds into the cages they should have been in the first place, which have less rattlable doors. But I can't believe I was moving birds around at about 3:00 am or so. After that I finally got to sleep, but I was groggy all day.
Had one of my game days at work, though, that kept me moving.
News from The Kid, Bubbles has been renamed Carmina. (Not Carmin, Oldest Brother, that was my mistake, I heard her wrong when she told me.)
Tried to call mashfanficchick about Saturday night but only got her voicemail. She might have called me, but I'm not sure because I don't know when the messege was from, and apparently my phone has problems ringing now. the Kid called, and left a messge, and although the phone was right next to me the whole time, it didn't ring or beep for a messege. Oy.
I did Nice Things for my turtle tonight, I've been ignoring her for far to long since this whole mess started. So I cleaned her filter and gave her fresh water. She looks happier. I need a new airstone for the filter. Tomorrow, maybe.
Time for bed!
Gratitude List:
1. Said what I needed to say, wasn't mean or catty.
2. A problem was worked out.
3. The Kid.
4. My turtle.
5. Got the numbers on my game program.
6. The kindness of strangers.
Edited to add: I know what I forgot to mention, I finally got around to putting the drabble about the Starsky's car that I wrote all the way back in the spring onto fanfiction.net. I gave up on thinking of a really snappy title and just called it "You Never Know".
melancholyWednesday, November 4, 2009
10:33PM - And here's the rest of the day
Worked late, didn't get my vacation schedule done, have to do that tomorrow. Called The Kid, spoke briefly.
Called mashfanficchick on the way home and it looks like most likely I will be seeing The Rocky Horror Picture show with her Saturday night... and accompanied by Malik3000 from the Ship, who's going to be in town. I suggested it almost as a joke, and was surprised when he took me up on it.
Also called someone from program and talked to her, and I called Mom, and also Oldest Brother.
And I don't feel like being brave or anything. I feel like crap and I don't care who knows it. I've been randomly crying, and I don't feel brave or strong or anything. I have to e-mail him tomorrow and tell him about ending the direct deposit, and it will probably be a very nasty situation.
Gratitude List:
1. Friends.
2. Steve B.
3. Family.
4. The Kid.
5. Program.
6. I'm still alive.
tired and sad3:29PM - Special lunchtime update
I'm back to work today, and so far here's what I've accomplished:
I did my monthly report. I called payroll and confirmed that my direct deposit has been cancelled. I called Steve B, and we're having lunch on Tuesday. And I called the legal services and am waiting to hear back. And I called The Kid and told her what was going on.
Also, I finally managed to answer all the messeges that have been accumulating since this happened, so hopefully if you left me a messege you should have gotten an answer. If I missed someone, sorry.
Anyway, more tonight.
sadTuesday, November 3, 2009
10:34PM - One day at a time
really didn't do anything today. Slept far too late, and spent most of it on the computer.
I did manage to get out early enough to vote and eat dinner before my meeting, and also to talk to the guy at the petfood store. he was very sympathetic, and if I decide not to keep the birds, they'll help me find homes for them. Ate at the Chinese place.
My meeting was step 11. I need to know what God's direction for my life is at this point. I feel so lost and in limbo.
Tried to call The Kid. Turns out that T-Mobile is having some sort of problem, I saw a headline about it on the zipper. Seems to be working for me again, and I left a messege for The Kid but I haven't heard back from her yet.
Back to work tomorrow.
That's all.
Gratitude List:
1. My meeting.
2. The people there.
3. Cats.
4. Made it through another day.
5. Friends.
6. The elctorial process.
drainedMonday, November 2, 2009
10:41PM - Well, at least there's one good thing
So I called in today to take the day off on the grounds of "care of parent". The Boss didn't give me any grief about it, but she did try to tell me I had to shift my free day fro tomorrow because Ms R is also out (also caring for her mother). I refused on the grounds that she hadn't given me enough notice and I had plans. She didn't press it.
Anyway, I slept really late, think I may have finally caught up on some of mny missed sleep, and then Oldest Brother picked me up and we ewnt to Mom's doctor, and the good news is that he thinks that the painful, swollen lump on her neck by the incision is probably just an infected sebaceous cyst, and that the radiation will zap it. It is just possible, though quite unlikely, that it's the cancer spreading to the skin, but he said that even if it was that, his advice would be the same, go throuh with the radiation, and that will still zap it. So it looks like, no matter what's causing it, it's not a problem.
That was a big relief, and then we went out to a late lunch/early dinner, and I had what's probably the mozst sinfully indulgent thing I've ever eaten as a main course, Nutella-stuffed French toast. With chocolate sauce, chocolate chips, and whipped cream. Oh my.
Talked to The Kid, she told me how Bubbles is doing, and she seems to be holding on quite well.
Then I kind of broke down crying on the ride home. God, this hurts so damn much. I just want him back. Even as I take all the steps to make myself safe, I still want him back.
Yesterday I sent out the e-mail about ending the direct deposit. Haven't heard back yet. If I haven't heard anything by Wednesday, I'll call again. I'll probably call my union legal plan for a lawyer Wednesday too.
Got an e-mail from Frank C, I was going to e-mail him anyway, so it worked out well. Told him what had happened, haven't heard back yet. (mashfanficchick that's the friend who's into the Titanic, remember I mentioned him on Halloween.)
Gratitude List:
1. Friends.
2. Family.
3. The Kid is safe.
4. Mom's no worse.
5. Got my legal plan.
6. The ship.
crappy12:08AM - Now I have a grand-kitten!
Actually I guess I have two days to catch up on, and both very busy one.
On Halloween I went to my meeting in the morning. God bless the people there, for all their love and support. I don't know what I'd do without them.
Got a ride home, and tried to take a nap, which wasn't too successful. And then got into my costume, walked a little around town, and then went to meet up with mashfanficchick. We ended up having dinner with her mother and grandmother, then going into Manhatten. Sadly the Rocky Horror Picture Show was sold out, but we spent the night roaming the Village, looking at the costumes and having a great time. But it was too late to post when I got home.
Today I pulled myself out of bed,and went into the city to meet The Kid. Her bus was late because of the NY Marathon, but not to bady.
We headed out to the Brooklyn CACC shelter, rather than the Staten Island one, because they had a bigger selection. And after a lot of looking and picking, she got an adorable little tuxedo girl, 3 months old, now named Bubbles. (and yes, mashfanficchick when I told Oldest Brother, he did say "Just like Aunt Elaine!") We had a really fun time together, and little Bubbles is so well behaved! Her bus left at 8:30, and I just spoke to her now, they're letting Bubbles (they may change the name though) explore and get used to her new home.
And then I headed back here and have been catching up with the net. Heard from Herschel. finally, his wife had had a bad day, and then he was off Friday. But all's well now, thankfully.
Bad news on the ship, a long time poster died. I didn't know him well, but he will be missed. RIP Kenwritez.
I'm calling out from work tomorrow to go to the doctor with Mom.
Gratitude List:
1. Program people.
2. Lovely day with The Kid.
3. Adorable kitten.
4. Wonderful time Halloween with mashfanficchick
5. My cats.
6. being able to take time off from work so I don't have to go back just yet.
tiredSaturday, October 31, 2009
1:53AM - Another day
So it was another day. Today I managed to get my laundry to the laundromat and drop it off, and to go to bay Terrace to see mashfanficchick. While there I managed to make an impiortant phone call to my payroll department, but found I had to put my request in writing, and call The Kid and Oldest brother. I also called Mom, who has been told about things now. Mom was... unexpectedly good at dealing with the situation. But I miss Dad so much. I actually started crying "I want my daddy" to Mom.
The Kid sounded better. She is having her Halloween party tonight.
I have two other than the obvious worries today, though. One is Mom. She has a painful swollen lump on her neck where the surgery was. She's going to the doctor again Monday, and I've decided to take the day off and go with her.
And I haven't heard from Herschel in two days, not since he called Wednesday. No e-mail at all. This would be unusual at any time, and at this point, when he knows what's going on with me, I'm really worried.
But I'm hanging on. It still hurts like hell, but each day is easier.
And tomorrow, if possible, mashfanficchick and I are going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show!
Gratitude List:
1. Every day a little easier.
2. The Kid seems better.
3. Friends.
4, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
5. Got free bread from Paneria.
6. mashfanficchick again.
sort of survivingThursday, October 29, 2009
10:30PM - I managed to get up today
I think that's a pretty major thing. I also managed to get breakfast, make a doctor's apointment, and look up a phone number. And talk to someone from program, and The Kid, and Oldest brother. And get dinner.
There. I'm functioning,right?
Still not up to answering all the messeges, again, thanks.
Going out with mashfanficchick again tomorrow.
The Kid is definetly coming down on Sunday to make an attempt at getting a kitten. She is not doing well, I'm worried. Had to ask for an extension on a paper. Can't work. She was in tears again when I spoke to her, after she had just spoken to him.
Oldest Brother is going to tell Mom tomorrow. I can't do it, I just can't.
Gratitude List:
1. mashfanficchick
2. Program people.
3. Friends.
4. My cats, who have spent the whole day keeping me company.
5. The ship.
6. I have reasons to live.
crappy12:46AM - Life in Limbo
That's sort of what today felt like. Spent it with mashfanficchick and her mother. They took excellent care of me, including paying for all my meals. All my friends who are also friends of hers, make sure you laud her for being an unbelivably excellant person.
Aside from that, thank God for my other friends too. All of you here, I'm sorry, I'm not up to answering individual messeges yet, but believe me, it means the world to me.
Herschel called me this morning, the first time I've actually spoken to him since Dad died. It was awfully good to hear his voice again. And Geoffrey called me this evening.
I've spoken frequently with The Kid. I suspect this is part of her way of coping, she is planning on getting a kitten in her dorm. Highly against the rules of course but she says there are other people who have pets. Here's the thing... for long and complicated reasons, she's coming here to get one, from a shelter on Staten Island. And she wants to do that Sunday. So I will hopefully see her then. She told her father she was coming down, and he started being all "I'll come in and meet you" until she told him she was coming to see me, not him. Hope he learns something from this.
Spent most of the day at Paneria. amberle_chan, now I feel stupid, I only just remembered that you live somewhere around there and we could told you we were there, and you could have joined us. Oh well, I'm oging to be seeing a lot of her over the next however long, maybe we can work something out.
So I'm back home now which doesn't seem very homelike any more. but the cats are happy to see me. He took Queenie, but left the lovebirds. Tomorrow one of the things I have to do is talk to the owners of the petfood store about if they can help me find homes for them.
Guess I'll go to bed soon. Again, thanks everyone,. I'll try to answer everyone personally tomorrow.
Gratitude LIst:
1. Friends.
2. The Kid.
3. My cats.
4. Keeping my mind occupied.
5. Oldest Brother.
6. mashfanficchick and her mother.
drainedWednesday, October 28, 2009
1:26AM - There's no easy way to say this
So I guess I need to just come out and say it.
While I was up in Vermont, The Husband moved out.
He told me when I called to say I was on the way home.
I called mashfanficchick and she and her mother met me at the train staion. They took me to my meeting and then out to dinner at IHOP. Now I'm spending the night with her.
The Kid is devastated. Dan and her friend Julia are taking care of her, and she went to one of the school counsellors.
I told Oldest brother, but no one else in the family yet.
I'm totally confused, and sort of numb.
Gratitude List:
1. mashfanficchick.
2. And her mother.
3. The Kid has people to help her.
4. My meeting.
5. Program people.
6. Not having to deal with this alone.
devastatedMonday, October 26, 2009
10:00PM - Day three in Vermont
Was a pretty quiet day, but while Rae had to work I went out and took a walk in the woods. Climbed up part of the mountain-side and sat in the woods for awhile. Called The husband, but that was less than a happy experience. But while I was out there, I saw a red squirrel! We don't have them around me, or even up at the cottage, they're really different looking. So that was pretty cool.
We ended up driving Rae's tenant to the local emergency room, which Rae tells me is the one that the hospital in her story Winds of Change was based on, so that was actually interesting. Her tenant had an infected wound on her foot and we were worried that blood poisoning was starting, but the doctor told her to keep taking her antibiotics, elevate it, and keep a close eye on it.
Anyway, Rae made pizza for dinner, and now we're watching some Starsky and Hutch (big surprise there, huh? ;-) )
Gratitude List:
1. Cute animals.
2. Still away.
3. Beautiful woods.
4. Fellow fans.
5. Ice cream.
6. Finding odd things in episodes.
relaxedSunday, October 25, 2009
11:03PM - Day Two in Vermont
Sadly Rae has come down with a cold, which limited our day somewhat. But we hung out in the morning, and then we went out for some sight-seeing. It is gorgeous around here. I took a good number of pictures, I'll see about getting a couple up here when I get back. She says to say hello to everyone on my list whi knows her.
Came back, watched some TV together, and just sort of hung out. Very relaxing. Called The Husband and had him talk to rae about a problem with one of the cats. And I talked on-line to amberle_chan while Rae watched Dexter.
And I've gotten the third cat to trust me at least enough to let me scratch his ears!
Looked up times and costs for both the bus and the train for both Monday and Tuesday, and I think I'll go home Tuesday by the train, at 12:30.
Called Mom and Oldest Brother, they're doing well.
Gratitude List:
1. Still having a good time.
2. Beautiful scenery.
3. Friends.
4. Cats
5. The smell of woodsmoke.
6. Golden leaves.
cozy and snugSaturday, October 24, 2009
9:54PM - Hello from Vermont!
So here I am at Rae's having a great time. Even though it is pouring out. So here's how the day went.
Got up this morning at *ugh* 4 AM. Managed to get out of the house by about 4:15. Called a cab, got to the subway, and got in to Time Square, at which point something weird happened... somehow I managed to end up somewhere in the subway station I'd never seen before, and I couldn't find my way to the Port Authority! Fortunetly I had plenty of time, so eventually I got straightened out.
The trip was uneventful, I managed to get a fair amount of sleep. And Rae was right there to meet me. We went and had lunch at a nice place called The marina, and then went to a pet store where she got some stuff and two new hermit crabs to add to the ones she has.
Then we came back to her place, and I LOVE it. It's like a version of the cottage where you could live all year round. It's great! And all her animals are great too. So far I've gotten two of her cats to trust me.
We've mostly just hung out so far, watched some TV (we both like medical things, so I told her about Berton Roche) and now I'm doing this while also being on the S&H chat.
Yesterday was really good too. Work went by quickly, and I made it to the Halloween party, which was a lot of fun. I got a ride home from someone, and that was nice too.
And that's about all.
Gratitude List:
1. Lovely place to be.
2. Friends who invite me places.
3. Halloween party fun.
4. My costume looked great.
5. Got a ride home.
6. Everything went well today.
bouncyThursday, October 22, 2009
10:07PM - One more day to go
Getting ready for my vacation.
Dropped off my prescription to be refilled tonight, tomorrow I have to pick it up, buy a few last minute items, get my coat from the drycleaners, then get home to get ready for the Halloween party. (mashfanficchick, check your e-mail if you haven't!)
After that, I may not bother going to bed, I may just stay up. Or I may try to grab a couple hours of sleep. Haven't decided which yet. If I don't post tomorrow night, it means I went to bed, and I'll catch up later. I'm sure Rae will let me borrow her computer at least once while I'm ther!
And then into the Port Authority to catch a 6 am bus and off to Vermont. yay!
And The Boss isn't in tomorrow so it'll be almost like the vacation starts at work!
Oh, about work today? The Boss had one of her stupid "half the staff at a time for half an hour" staff meetings today. *shudder* I was lucky to be in the second half, the first half got stuck with her for nearly an hour! Then I showed Edward Dcissorhands as a program, which was quite successful, so I'm happy.
Grattude List:
1. Vacation!
2. Halloween party!
3. Trip!
4. My program worked out well.
5. I only got stuck with the boss for a half hour.
6. The display of pink flamingos parading down the walk of one of the co-ops that my bus passes in the morning.
Edited to add; One thing I should mention, The Kid called awhile ago, her campus is on a lockdown. Which sounds very scary until I googled and found out what was up, it seems a man robbed a mcDonalds nearby, then fled to an area just off campus, and fired some shots. So, nasty but not directly affecting them, and as long as all the students stay inside, they should be safe. Oldest Brother, better not mention this to Mom! Here's an article about what's happening:
Trinity College in Lockdown
Second edit: She just called me, it's over, the guy killed himself.
happyWednesday, October 21, 2009
10:49PM - And another late night is over with
Not much happened today. In fact, really nothing happened today. Which I guess is a good thing.
It went pretty quickly, too.
Came home and watched Law and Order, SVU. Now The Husband is watching CSI. Not my thing.
Gratitude List:
1. Peaceful day.
2. Nice weather.
3. On-line friends.
4. Fun TV.
5. Going to bed sooon.
6. Heard from The Kid again last night.
mellowTuesday, October 20, 2009
11:02PM - Happy Anniversery to Me!
No, not my wedding anniversery, that was back in July, and not a happy occasion, as you who have been following my story can guess. No, it was the anniversery of my Alanon group, 39 years! And my personal Alanon anniversery too, sometime this month, 14 years now.
But the day started with work, and going into manhatten for a very pointless and inane presentation on our new "Mission statement". Blerg. Then back to the usual, fortunetly it was a mostly quiet day.
One bit of good news, Oldest brother called me, and Mom's not going to have xhemotbherapy after all. They did a risk/benefit analysis, and decided that the best thing is for her to just have the radiation. Thank heavens. I know the chemo would have bene very rough.
But anyway,after work, I went shopping for the stuff I needed for the anniversery, and then went down and started getting ready. It was, for us, very successful, with two people coming back who hadn't been in a long time, one of whom I like a great deal.
The speakers were great, and a good time was had by all.
Came home, and that's really about it. Time for bed now.
Gratitude LIst:
1. Meeting and meeting people.
2. Seeing old friends.
3. Mom's not going to have to have chemo.
4. Oldest brother.
5. Can sleep late tomorrow.
6. Had time to wash my hair this morning.
cheerfulMonday, October 19, 2009
10:34PM - Monday, Monday
*sigh*
Ms R's mother is OK, but Ms R came down with something while she was in the emergency room, let's hope it's just a cold and not the flu, so she won't be in to work for a few days.
The Husband got my coat taken down to the dry cleaners today, so I should be all ready for Vermont!
Went to another session with the counsellor tonight. This one got a bit intense. But i think it did some good and I feel better.
White Castle for dinner, and we watched some House.
The Kid called, I talked to her and now The Husband's talking to her. All's well. Her classes are doing very well.
Gratitude List:
1. The Kid doing well.
2. maybe made some progress tonight.
3. White Castle.
4. Nice weather for a change.
5. Heat.
6. Cats.
cheerfulSunday, October 18, 2009
10:19PM - Very quiet day
Last night got nasty after I posted and went to bed, big fight with yelling and screaming. So today was quiet and restrained. I just have so much anger stored up inside, and instead of doing anything to defuse it, all he does is push my buttons and make it worse.
But after I brought the laundry down today I went to do some shopping. And because I gave in to the temptation to get a donut from Dunkin' Donuts, I was in the right place at the right time to run into someone from program at the checkout counter in the grocery store. So we talked for awhile, and that helped.
The Kid called, she's doing well, planning a dinner for her dorm, and a dorm Halloween party.
Ms R from work called, she may not be in tomorrow because her mother fell today and hit her head. Hope everything's going to be OK.
Watched the Simpson's 20th Halloween "Treehouse of Horror". Good as usual. I can't believe it's been that long!
Watched House after that, and then called Mom and Oldest Brother. Everything's OK with them.
Gratitude List:
1. The Kid is having a good time.
2. program and program people.
3. Family doing well.
4. Cats.
5. Quiet day in with snacks.
6. The heat is working now.
drainedSaturday, October 17, 2009
8:30PM - Day at work was quiet and boring
Wish I could have stayed at home because this is what was going on around here:
Rally Against Hate held in College Point
See, cack a few days ago, Friday to be precise, there was a very nasty gay-bashing incident here. I would have posted about it then but I read about it Sunday which was one of the days i was having computer problems, and I couldn't get a link to an article. but I've been following the news. Today there was this rally here. Wish I'd known about it in advance, not that I could have attended in any case, no way to get out of work I'm afraid. On my way home I passed a group of teens who had apparently been part of it, they had a banner. I murmered a few quiet words of support as I passed. They had apparently just had a less-than-plesant encounter with some other teens. Hopefully my support made up for some of it. Anyway, it's good to see the younger generation out protesting in support of their rights.
The Husband has hopefully gotten our heat turned on. Well, I know he has, but weather or not it's going to work right is the question.
Going to bed early to read to myself before I read out loud.
gratitude List:
1. People willing to stand up against hatred.
2. Kids getting involved.
3. Didn't get caught in the rain again today.
4. The little girl who smiled at my umbrella at the bus stop.
5. Quiet day at work.
6. Warmth.
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